Family Matters

A New Dating Site for People Who Can’t Have Sex

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Nothing puts the kibosh on a one-night stand like announcing that sex is off-limits. It’s also a pretty serious roadblock to the establishment of a loving relationship, believes Laura Brashier, which is why she’s launched 2date4love, a dating website for men and women who want to fall in love but don’t want to, or can’t have actual intercourse.

There are quite a few of them out there in cyberspace: since the site went live Aug. 1, 10,000 people have visited and more than 2,000 have signed up. (Those who join by Sept. 20 receive a free month of membership, which costs about $30, depending on the length of the subscription.)

Brashier, 50, a hairdresser from southern California, is targeting cancer survivors like herself who may have experienced complications from chemotherapy or radiation that affect the ability to have intercourse, as well as people who cannot have sex for other reasons including paralysis, erectile dysfunction and birth defects.

MORE: First Comes Cancer, Then Come Children: The New World of Oncofertility

In 1999, Brashier wrapped up treatment for Stage 4 cervical cancer. She found sex unbearably painful and the prospect of breaking that news to a potential partner so overwhelming that she quit dating.

As Brashier explains on 2date4love:

With the help of my doctors, I won my battle against cancer. My body, however, has never been the same. I am still the same passionate woman who loves life and thrives on excitement. I still have all the same sexual desires I had before cancer. As the cancer treatment took a toll on my body, I’m no longer able to function sexually the way I used to. This has proven to be an enormous challenge when it comes to dating — when the topic of intimacy is raised, I fear that once my partner knows my limitations, he may lose interest.

As if dating isn’t hard enough already, Brashier would obsess about how and when to tell a man — right away as a means of being up-front, or after he’d gotten to know her better and might be less apt to turn away? “It’s the only thing on your mind,” says Brashier. “Who’s going to sign up for that?”

Finding a love interest through the new site removes that anxiety. If you find someone you like, you never have to ‘fess up; they already know. “It takes it completely out of the equation,” she says.

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7 comments
Osioma
Osioma

Yes how do I get into that site.. I need to find someone like me who can't have sex..!!!


christie1
christie1

I had cancer in 2009.  It totally changed me.  I didn't want to be in a relationship so I let a lot of great go.   Now I would like a companion.  To share my life with some one.  I'm just don't want to have sex right now.  So I feel like I'm going to be alone forever!!


christie1
christie1

How do sign up!! Christie        crjobb@hot.rr.com

jeffstudio246
jeffstudio246

The most common source of problems in relationships is that the couple misinterpreted their mutual feelings of attraction as love. This normally results in the couple trying to keep up appearances after about 5 years, and wondering where the love went.

It is important to know that attraction is an emotional feeling that may fade, while love is a promise that has nothing to do with attraction.  Love is a promise to do 4 things.

1. To accept everything that you know and do not know about her now.

2. To accept her regardless of what happens in the unknown future as you both age - for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health for as long as you both shall live. Even if she is disfigured by an accident or crippled by illness, you accept her.

3. To forgive her later. Since neither of you is perfect, you both depend on each others' forgiveness.

4. To encourage her to improve. This 4th one gives purpose to your relationship - otherwise it will get boring.

If you are both ready to make and keep these promises to each-other, then you are ready to love. When you keep them, you demonstrate your love for each-other.  After you formally make your promises at your wedding, you complete or consummate these promises with sexual intercourse.  Every time that you subsequently have sexual intercourse, you reinforce your promises – it is truly a wonderful and mutually satisfying experience.

If you have sexual intercourse before making your promises, then you show her that you are capable of justifying forsaking her for a younger, shapelier rival when she gets older.  If you are able to restrain yourself when your attraction for her is at its highest, then you show her that you are capable of resisting the rival that will inevitably come.

Source: Attraction is a feeling. Love is a Promise. by Grenville Phillips, president of Walbrent College. (LoveIsAPromise.wordpress.com)

robertjohnson4053
robertjohnson4053

hi I'm looking for a nice hot sexy young lady that single. Don't have a man and now wants to give me a phone number

Osioma
Osioma

@christie1  I have that same feeling because it is soooooooooooo hard to meet someone that doesn't have the same problem..!!! opposite sex wise...


robertjohnson4053
robertjohnson4053

hi this is Rob love I'm looking for a single young lady has looking for a good man in your life so call me at now I'm going on