Why Facebook Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself

Justin Sullivan / Getty Images

No surprise — those Facebook photos of your friends on vacation or celebrating a birthday party can make you feel lousy.

Facebook is supposed to envelope us in the warm embrace of our social network, and scanning friends’ pages is supposed to make us feel loved, supported and important (at least in the lives of those we like). But skimming through photos of friends’ life successes can trigger feelings of envy, misery and loneliness as well, according to researchers from two German universities. The scientists studied 600 people who logged time on the social network and discovered that one in three felt worse after visiting the site—especially if they viewed vacation photos. Facebook frequenters who spent time on the site without posting their own content were also more likely to feel dissatisfied.

(MORE: Why You’re More Likely to Remember A Facebook Status Than a Face)

“We were surprised by how many people have a negative experience from Facebook with envy leaving them feeling lonely, frustrated or angry,” study author Hanna Krasnova from the Institute of Information Systems at Berlin’s Humboldt University told Reuters. ”From our observations some of these people will then leave Facebook or at least reduce their use of the site.”

The most common cause of Facebook frustration came from users comparing themselves socially to their peers, while the second most common source of dissatisfaction was “lack of attention” from having fewer comments, likes and general feedback compared to friends.

The study authors note that both men and women feel pressure to portray themselves in the best light to their Facebook friends, but men are more likely to post more self-promotional content in their ”About Me” and “Notes” sections than women, although women are more likely to stress their physical attractiveness and sociability.

(MORE: Who Wields The Most Influence On Facebook?)

The authors write [PDF]:

Overall, however, shared content does not have to be “explicitly boastful” for envy feelings to emerge. In fact, a lonely user might envy numerous birthday wishes his more sociable peer receives on his FB Wall. Equally, a friend’s change in the relationship status from “single” to “in a relationship” might cause emotional havoc for someone undergoing a painful breakup.

So far, it seems that the positive effects of being socially connected supersede the negative consequences of feeling inferior or left out by your circle of friends. But the authors suggest that if the hurtful feelings grow, Facebook and other social media may no longer be a fun way to stay connected with friends, but could become just another source of stress for people.

The research will be presented at an information system conference in Germany in February, called the 11th International Conference on Wirtschaftsinformatik.

MORE: Pediatricians Should Discuss ‘Facebook Depression’ with Kids

120 comments
VickiThrift
VickiThrift

the PETA fools and animal rights activist can go suck it. I'm sick of their propaganda in my news feed.

RobbiStyleTV
RobbiStyleTV

This article is only relevant to the insecure. Otherwise, you don't have problems. Another one-sided article from Ms. Sifferlin. 

Keep your "friends" number to the actual friends you have in real life. If you have identity-crisis - don't blame it on Facebook. 


ArryStark
ArryStark

I dunno, I LOVE getting to scan through my mobile FB while sitting for an oil change, waiting for my <a href="http://www.azarkodental.com/azarko-south-office">dentist in Edmonton South</a> or outside the daycare waiting for my daughter to come out. I just eliminated the people who were so negative that I didn't want to read their posts. Does this make me a Pollyanna? Sure! But does it keep my happier to stay in touch with all my friends, see baby photos, graduation announcements and sure, get jealous over their vacation photos? Yes, it does. Our world is socially connected and we are a part of it - like it or not!

This comment has been deleted

seemorebutts
seemorebutts like.author.displayName 1 Like

You know why I hate the internet and face book especially...

Im sick of the bullys, the perverts, the haters, the online "fighters", the blamers,\

Im sick of stalkers,

Im sick of seeing the same chit chat that is being taught every day non stop, constantly

Im sick of face book because its destroying the lives of people today right now, since 2000? Its affecting you, your children, your families,its gotten to be out of line why.

Im sick of everyone being connected to face book. Every person sounds like the same person.

Im sick of feeling like a shadow is following everywhere I go!

Im sick of all the nonsense! People are becoming Fat,mean,uneducated,boring,perverse,bullys,get rid of this before it destroys everyone!

Im sick of all of the trouble that comes of it!

Im sick of the gossipers, coneivers, im sick of how my esp kicks in, Im sick of being treated like im sh*t!

Im sick of being watched by people (not my face book freinds), but the other people!

Im sick of everything going on public, nothing is every private on the computer!

Im so sick of the fact you dont feel like anything is private

Im sick of people not having lives anymore, grow up! Delete your account, set some goals, read some books, take soem college classes,go for a walk, stop hiding

Im sick of people who try and online bully, its really sickening! Get a life!

Im sick of the internet period but, face book should DEFINATELY in no doubt whatsoever be destroyed. Who has the power to do it, why are they refraining to stop a big gigantic mistake! Why are peopel putting on there pants and putting there foot down. Its not working for people. Watch as people get stupider, more boring,more shallow, more bully like, more uneducated, and more mean! Watch, change it or watch the world suffer! Im getting rid of my account. im not afraid of these online bullier, they will face god!

VickiThrift
VickiThrift

@seemorebutts The games are fun and i love that my family are my friends but anyone else can delete me for all i care. . 

AnaVelez
AnaVelez like.author.displayName 1 Like

I had Facebook and just deactivated, FB wasn't for me...I always tend to reach out all the time and if  I don't, no one post anything in my wall or there is no interaction with me at all...always is about commenting about the Post..just got tired of it ...besides I need to be productive in other areas of my life..people always will have to say something about you..religion, politics, travels, family....so whatever..I think I feel more at peace and go old school...much much better!!! 

Grover_Sage
Grover_Sage like.author.displayName 1 Like

If you have good friends....then FB simply connects you to them. Unhealthy people with social 'issues' can't understand this. Even now as they read this, all they can think about is attacking me........


If you have bad friends....then FB amplifies that.


The thing is, if you state on the internet that you are just fine with FB....you will be attacked by the most pathetic insulting losers.

There's nothing new about misery that loves company.


Ultimately.........the best revenge is living well.

SagarSharma
SagarSharma

I am writing from India and an avid reader of "Time"; the article hits the grail on its Facebook :-) In fact, I had deactivated my FB account only a few months ago!

In my personal opinion, Facebook is a tool for those who wish to fan their egos and prove superiority over others by posting and (copying!) pasting and indulgence in a kind of exhibitionism that helps them achieve their end-goal: to raise their bar and overcome the existing (common!) sense of low self-esteem! I have seen many colleagues and friends, married, unmarried and bachelors who spend a lot of (QUALITY!) time on FB that could otherwise have been invested in a more constructive manner with families and friends; in fact, judging by the amount of time people spend on Facebook, (I did before signing off!) is a clear sign of loneliness and depression.....!

In case the PR team of FB is reading this, would like them to know that before signing off I had 246 friends on the list, of which only some 40-odd "posted" their birthday wishes on my wall; earlier we celebrated birthdays with greeting cards and phone call to make someone feel TRULY special! In fact, there have been occasions when a few Facebook "friends" passed by me and never even acknowledged when they came Face-to-Face!

raeesmuqthar
raeesmuqthar like.author.displayName 1 Like

Facebook has been very well known for wasting a lot of peoples time, but how about an alternative that could enhance productivity, would that gain much traction as facebook did ?

JohnKrawczyk
JohnKrawczyk

I feel bad after signing into facebook because I can barely get anything to work.  Someone sends me a message and for the life of me I can't figure out where it is & how to read it.  It's like trying to format stuff in Microsoft Office: an intensely fustrating experience.


Consequently I don't login very often so I've never developed that necessary expertise of knowing how to do stuff in FB.  It's a vicious cycle.  I usually just then stick to solving partial differential equations which are a lot easier & more satisfying.

metta2uall
metta2uall

IMHO it'd be more accurate to write "Why Facebook Triggers Miserable Feelings" since, thankfully, the reaction of getting miserable from Facebook posts comes from within the mind, so every person can develop a much happier reaction, through for example cultivating metta and mudita.

MoEweeny
MoEweeny like.author.displayName 1 Like

Facebook I LOVE you and you bring me Down 

BhigBhadWolf
BhigBhadWolf

Actually for me it has the OPPOSITE effect. I get a chuckle about how many people I have on my feed that have created such sad and dismal lives for themselves. Every status update is either some complaint about how their lives suck, or some trite image with some dumb quote of affirmation on it.... usually about how "no one can break them down because they've been though hell" B.S.
Most of them are stuck in dull marriages, they have tons of kids that eat up their time, and they live in a house they bought during the housing bubble. 
Sucks to be them, but it's fun as hell to be me!

JoeyZuraski
JoeyZuraski like.author.displayName 1 Like

Facebook doesn't make me miserable. My family gives me moral support and likes to accomplishments like a successful week of weight loss to my goal to battle obesity which is what everyone should do.

RebeccaChapman
RebeccaChapman like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

This stuff is bullcrap.  I have 156 people on my FB account.  They come from around the world and all walks of life.  I enjoy reading their posts.  I have no braggarts.  No overly boo-hooers.  I love seeing vacation photos then I can see places I might otherwise never get a chance to go see.  I call it armchair sightseeing.  We encourage each other and give words of kindness.  I have a couple of people on FB that don't even speak English.  I wish I spoke Italian but I don't.  I like their pictures and they like mine and add smily faces.  We started out being "game friends" but I quit playing the game more than a year ago.  I love all the new friends I've made.  An old friend of mine from high school is on my list.  She never had any foreign friends until she made a comment on a post a police officer from Bangladesh wrote.  Now they are such good friends he even sent her a sari.  You can get out of FB what you put into it.  By the way, I have been treated for depression since long before FB was ever around.  I enjoy the interactions.

RobbiStyleTV
RobbiStyleTV

@RebeccaChapman THANK YOU ! This article is for the insecure. I have family in India and London that I communicate with, which makes my 89 yr old grandmother happy. 

zenmonkey
zenmonkey

facebook is a giant experiment in voyeurism. it has basically exploited a latent desire in all of us to be voyeurs because most of us are insufferable bored creatures.

KathleenMIsabell
KathleenMIsabell

I get sad because of all the tear-jerker stories my friends post.

DaveMoff
DaveMoff like.author.displayName 1 Like

Realizing, while using Facebook, that it is a complete waste of time and that you should have better things to do doesn't help one's mood at all either.

Yogajitsu
Yogajitsu like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

I also have friends who posts about their hardships and needing help... If that makes you feel better

inhomenotary
inhomenotary

@Yogajitsu Yeah, but do you actually try to help them through their hardships, or do you simply do what the rest of the lifeless losers on FB do and wish them well, thinking that someone else will help them?

Yogajitsu
Yogajitsu

@inhomenotary Sometimes they need to be wished well. I guess you don't get that.

heather.poco
heather.poco like.author.displayName 1 Like

I think those people probably feel lonely, frustrated and angry with or without facebook. Its just a new and different way to reaffirm their insecurities. It is what you make out of it. 

ShawnArscott
ShawnArscott like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Facebook is not only about oneself - it is also is about what is happening in the world and sharing information. There are many groups on the internet that speak for world peace, human rights, animal rights. There is much more to facebook than just bragging. A tool is only as good as how you use it. Facebook can be uplifting knowing there are so many people in the world that care about the Earth and are working to protect the Earth.

John
John like.author.displayName 1 Like

If using FB makes you happy, fine.  To me it's just a matter of taste.  If you like to collect stamps or used banana peels fine.  I had an account for a short time, but it just didn't interest me.  I knew from the start that there were people on it that were not as fortunate as some of us and others who were very well off fiscally, so that was never my problem.  I just didn't have any excitement about it like some users so I just pulled out of it.

SeanCanterbury
SeanCanterbury like.author.displayName 1 Like

Are you people kidding?  Facebook is no good because your self esteem is so low that you can't feel good for someone having a better time that you at some point?  Frankly, nothing is going to make a person like that happy.  Get over yourselves.  Go out and make some memories and share them with your friends who wish you well.


Oh, and just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it has no use.  It just means you are loudly proclaiming your ignorance when you harp on it.

inhomenotary
inhomenotary

@SeanCanterbury You are ignorant for ignoring the fact that FB allows people to feel good about themselves by rah rah-ing their "friends" while never leaving their house.  You are also probably lazy, entitled, and oblivious to what's really going on with your friends and the world around you.

Try leaving your house and actually interacting with people.  It's a different world.

Get over yourself, Mr. "I'm so High and Mighty".  You are an ignorant dolt.

paulmartin200
paulmartin200

Never understood what the point of Facebook is or how I'm supposed to "use" it.  It  provides the names of "friends" I don't know at all and peppers me with advertising.  An email group of my friends and associates is easier to work with. 

craigrobinson99
craigrobinson99

Germans hate it when other people have a good time. The national psyche can only get pleasure out of others' misfortune. Austria, too. Part of the problem is that they have no sense of humor.

try_or_buy
try_or_buy like.author.displayName 1 Like

facebook is for narcissist.

NicholasWeiner
NicholasWeiner like.author.displayName 1 Like

Totally spot on -- Facebook isn't designed to be a "contest", but in some cases it very well may be.  Few things on that site can be worse than seeing your friends succeed where you fail, to see them tagged in photos of events that you were not told about.  It does suck, and it is true that the people closest to you have other social interests as well.  

danielosorno
danielosorno like.author.displayName 1 Like

makes sense...i have said it to many of my friends for a while.  On facebook you only get pictures of people on vacation, or having fun, or bragging about something.  You never see pictures of people crying, working hard, or in the middle of an argument with a loved one or work.

So therefore, you start thinking how great life is for all and not for you.  Thats why you have to browse it with a grain of salt and know people's lives are all the same...you are just getting the highlights of everyone elses on facebook.

RoddWayneWeisbrodt
RoddWayneWeisbrodt like.author.displayName 1 Like

Like any tool FB can create great things, and be many things to many people.  Any tool can be misused and cause harm.

SallyLRickerson
SallyLRickerson like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

Hi.I have a very different aspect of Facebook. The positive side. I have used  Facebook as a tool to reach out to groups that have helped me tremendously. My Son died 08/02/2011. My life changed forever. My life stopped. I found some wonderful support groups on Facebook. So many, like me, grieving, we could express everything and  anything. These Women pulled me through extremely hard emotional times. I was relieved to find people who understood what I was going though. As well, I use Facebook to educate people about Animal abuse. I am an avid Animal rights activist, and have found many groups as well that promote education, petitions, meetings and the sort. As well, news feeds are always keeping me up to date on current events. Everything has pro's and con's, but my wall if chocked full of  information to educate. Thanks, Sally.

BB116
BB116 like.author.displayName 1 Like

LOSERS.

Facebook is for LOSERS. Better, HUNTER CARES?

HopeArden
HopeArden like.author.displayName 1 Like

Finally, an article worth reading!!

JasonMcKay
JasonMcKay like.author.displayName 1 Like

Krappy, sensationalistic research, krappy, sensationalistic reporting. I'm no fan of FB, but if only 1/3 feel worse after viewing FB, FB is a very successful moral booster, worthy of being prescribed by psychologists, for it means fully 2/3 feel better or at least the same after viewing it. Why didn't they research what percentage feels worse after a morning commute, day at work, waiting at DMV line (or its German equivalent)...

KMC528
KMC528 like.author.displayName 1 Like

The only part of Facebook that makes me feel bad is the number of so-called Christians who play Blame The Victim.  When something bad happens, I'm always scolded that I need to be more charitable to earn blessings or pray harder or some other thing I'm doing wrong, because it can never be that their God isn't in the mood to give me what I asked for.

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HunterCares
HunterCares like.author.displayName 1 Like

@BB116It appeals to the fake, petty and  childish side of human nature....brings out the worst of mankind....appeals to the...childish side...etc. And of course you're doing what? Calling people names and telling them they don't have lives.  Anyway, you can now climb off your soapbox and give the posturing a break.

 

HunterCares
HunterCares like.author.displayName 1 Like

@BB116 Losers. If you're going to call people that, it would help to learn how to spell it.

CarlaAxelson
CarlaAxelson like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

Grow up people. If FB makes you sad, there a few things you can do about it. Stop using it or use it as a something that encourages you to do something with your life. I saw a friend who had just completed their undergraduate work that was in her 40's and I decided to do the same thing. Sure, for about a day I felt bad that I hadn't done it, then thought to myself, there's no reason I can't, so I did. Stop whining and do something about your life. Of course people only put their best faces forward on FB. Get over it.

whitewatersnow
whitewatersnow

Some of these commenters seem to be self rightous , mean spirted , bigots.
Face Book is silly fun. nothing more. Get over yourselves.
Start you own social media - Maybe "WHINER WORLD"

RichardBrown
RichardBrown like.author.displayName 1 Like

I use it to keep up with family doings, the rest is a waste. 

jdwarshuis
jdwarshuis

Look at me I have seven billion friends!

EvilTwinSteven
EvilTwinSteven like.author.displayName 1 Like

Facebook is an utter waste of time, and of life. If it is important to someone to take a picture of last night's dinner and post ot on line -"Hey, check out this plate of macaroni and cheese, with some fried ham on the side I had for dinner! Ilaso brushed my teeth after eating and then fell asleep watching TV!", and think their circle of friends is interested, then yes, it's a sad life, man.

subliminaut
subliminaut like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Half the people I meet are boring, do-nothings without an intelligent thought to share, so it's no shock to me that a  large number of people can't see the merit in social sharing. They have nothing to give the world. If a facebook page makes you sad, there is a solid chance you just lead a sad life. Don't see any interesting art or brainy articles in your feed? You might have boring friends. Hate those beach pics your coworkers post? You may be a fat couch potato. The social network was never anything but an extension of your own world. 

cyndilu9
cyndilu9

Wow - so inspirational - please give us some more of your great pearls of Wisdom?  Please?

Now go read a book and learn how not to judge others so harshly lol  Dale Carnegie is a good start for you.  My good deed of the day!

jjjj
jjjj like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

I totally agree. As another post here mentioned, I'm thankfully a 30 year old, so I grew up WITHOUT social media, til my 20s.. so I have a balanced view, in the sense that my whole life was not enveloped by this online social networking.

I only joined Facebook to be in the loop with Event Invitations and Group Emails from friends, cuz let's face it: a lot of people only use Facebook for those things. I didn't wanna be left out.

Other than that: I haven't posted a Status Update in literally THREE years. Why? 'Cause I do not wanna be part of the rat race of "how many likes can I get?? How many comments can I get??" 'Cause as much as we'd hate to admit it--wouldn't we feel lousy if we post an update, only to have NO or (very LITTLE) responses from our so-called "Friends"? It's an EGO TRAP waiting to happen! My first year, I noticed which of my "friends" posted Birthday greetings on my profile page, and how those who DIDN'T, would post birthday wishes for OTHER friends. As immature as it sounds, it really is the equivalent of real-life snubbing! These "friends" are choosing who they want to validate, and who they don't want to. 

Rather than subject myself to this involuntary psychological torture, I remove myself completely by NOT posting anything, and therefore NOT expecting anything. It's been a safe, smart move for my own ego and sense of self esteem.

runninrbl
runninrbl

I think most of us over 30 have felt the your life is better than mine syndrome Facebook has created. I never had a myspace account and it took several friends from work to persuade me to create a facebook account in 2009. I told them, why should I create an account where people from my past who I know aren't friends, can contact me and show me how much better their lives are than mine. For people over thirty we are talking about people from High School which before facebook I had not heard from in over 10 years. The first friend request I got was from a friend who had portrayed himself as a director who ran around Hollywood with all the actors. After a while I realized it was fake.

The problem people have with facebook is that they tend to buy into the whole story people create about themselves. My younger brother gets super depressed each time he looks at facebook and his friends. We lost both our parents in the past 5 years and have been hit hard by the economy. I had to explain to him the simple fact about facebook and all of his friends pictures. Who takes a bad picture of themselves and then posts it online? No one does. In fact I can pretty much bet 99 percent of all pictures posted on facebook are pictures that portray that person better than they really are. This is what most people don't consider each time they log onto facebook and this is why a lot of people leave the site depressed.

 Young people today hardly understand what people over 30 feel when we sign onto facebook because the whole social media, cell phones and text messages didn't exist when we were young. Spending half your life wondering what your old high school friends have been up to only to find out they are more successful than you makes you re-think the choices you made in life. I would be willing to bet a majority of people over 30 look back at life and how they thought when they were in high school and thought they would be more successful than they are today. Personally, if it weren't family and current friends I would have deleted facebook. It only took a year before I stopped caring about how many people I once knew and friend count before I deleted all the people I once knew but never really cared to look up in the phone book.