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	<title>Health &#38; FamilyCategory: Marriage &#124; Health &#38; Family &#124; TIME.com</title>
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	<description>A healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit</description>
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		<title>Health &#38; FamilyCategory: Marriage &#124; Health &#38; Family &#124; TIME.com</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com</link>
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		<title>Why Marriage Is Good for Your Health — Until You Get Sick</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2013/03/14/why-marriage-is-good-for-your-health-until-you-get-sick/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2013/03/14/why-marriage-is-good-for-your-health-until-you-get-sick/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Mar 2013 19:00:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie Rochman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gay marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heterosexual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[homosexual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Longevity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mortality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[same-sex marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=82319</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s supposed to last through sickness and in health, but it turns out that it&#8217;s a better idea to get married because you love someone, not because you think it’s going to keep you healthy for the long haul. That&#8217;s the message from a study published this month in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, which contradicts previous research that extolled the health benefits of partnership. It turns out that marriage is all well and good — until a person’s health starts declining. While studies of married and single people show that healthy unmarried people are far likelier to die than healthy married people during the 20-year research period, the numbers equal out when both married and unmarried people report poor health. “Marriage is more protective for healthy people,” says lead author Hui Zheng, an assistant professor of sociology at Ohio State University. In the study, researchers tracked 789,000 people who participated in the National Health Interview Survey from 1986 to 2004. Participants were asked to rate their health from excellent to poor. Follow-up data allowed Zheng and Patricia Thomas, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Texas at Austin, to determine that 24,100 participants died between 1986 and 2006. When they reported excellent health, unmarried people in the study were on average 75% more likely to have died than married people. More specifically, separated folks were 58% more likely to die during these studies, divorced people were 62% more likely and widowed people were 93% more likely to kick the bucket compared with married people. Marriage, then, can be a boon for a health. “It encourages people to maintain good health behaviors and have good social support and a sense of purpose in life,” says Zheng. But while “marriage is good for health &#8230; its protective effect declines as people’s health declines,” says Zheng. Unmarried people who reported fair (as opposed to excellent, very good, good or poor) health were 40% more likely to die than similar married people in the study. That breaks down to a 39%<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=82319&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Marriage</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/marriage/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/dv1742013.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">dv1742013</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">brochman</media:title>
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	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Same-Sex Couples Not As Healthy As Heterosexual Married Couples</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2013/02/27/same-sex-couples-not-as-healthy-as-heterosexual-married-couples/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2013/02/27/same-sex-couples-not-as-healthy-as-heterosexual-married-couples/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Feb 2013 20:00:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexandra Sifferlin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cohabiting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cohabiting couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gay marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heterosexual couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living together]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[same-sex couples]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=81146</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When it comes to our health, marriage may be more than just a formality. A study published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior asked same-sex couples who were living together about their health status, and compared their responses to those of heterosexual couples who were married or living together, as well as to people who were divorced, widowed or had never married. The study pooled data from 1,634 women living with same-sex partners and 1,659 men living with their male partners who were part of the National Health Interview Surveys from 1997 to 2009. Previous research showed that married couples are usually healthier than their non-married counterparts, and the current study confirmed that trend; people in same-sex relationships reported better health than those who were single, but the same-sex partners reported poorer health than heterosexual married couples. &#8220;These same-sex marriage-like relationships represent a very interesting population, not only for politics, but in terms of the health disparities,&#8221; says lead study author Hui Liu, an assistant professor of sociology at Michigan State University. (MORE: Modern Family: More Likely to Be Multigenerational, Unmarried or Interracial) After controlling for the effect of socioeconomic status of health status, me living in same-sex relationships were 61% more likely to report being in fair or poor health compared to men in heterosexual marriages, and women who were living with their female partners were 46% more likely to report the same lower health status compared to women in heterosexual marriages. The researchers didn&#8217;t find variations among race and gender in their comparison of the same-sex and heterosexual couples overall, but they did find differences when they compared women living in same-sex relationships to single women. Black women who were living with their female partners had worse health than black women in any other non-married status. Conversely, same-sex cohabiting white women had better health than heterosexual cohabiters and divorced white women. Why? The researchers speculate that the lower health quality among black women could be related to the higher amount of homophobia and discrimination they may experience living as lesbians, which may adversely influence their health.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=81146&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Marriage</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/marriage/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/156837170.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">156837170</media:title>
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		<media:content url="http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/dd9dc95ff828efb70c16a5a509a75150?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">asifferlin</media:title>
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	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Why Husbands Who Share Household Chores Miss Out on Sex</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2013/01/30/why-husbands-who-share-household-chores-miss-out-on-sex/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2013/01/30/why-husbands-who-share-household-chores-miss-out-on-sex/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jan 2013 10:45:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie Rochman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chores]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[housework]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[husbands]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[University of Washington]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wives]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=79154</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In what feels like a blow to egalitarianism, new research finds that husbands and wives who assign housework along traditional gender lines have more sex than those who split the chores more equitably. After reviewing data on how married couples in the U.S. tackle housework, as well as self-reports of how often they enjoyed intercourse, sociologists at the University of Washington (UW) say that couples who shared the burden of chores — cooking, cleaning and caring for the lawn — tend to have the least active sex lives. The couples reported having sex about five times in the month before the survey began. But if the husband did no stereotypically female tasks (making meals, perhaps, or scrubbing floors), couples had sex 1.6 times more per month than couples in which husbands were responsible for doing all of those chores. Couples where the husband contributed to household chores, but stuck to the more stereotypically male tasks (car maintenance, bill paying, yard work) had sex .7 times more than those where the wife did all the male work. That means that couples where husbands do no traditionally female tasks have sex the most: 4.85 times a month. Conversely, couples where men do all the female work have sex the least: 3.3 times a month. The couples where husbands pitch in but do only the male tasks, fall somewhere in between; they’re sliding between the sheets 4.7 times a month. Meanwhile, couples where wives do all the male tasks have sex just under four times a month. (MORE: Why Men in Female-Centric Professions Spend More Time on ‘Guy’ Chores) Overall, couples put in a combined 34 hours a week on traditionally female tasks compared to 17 hours on manly chores. Husbands performed about a fifth of classic women’s work and more than half of men’s work. The findings, drawn from 4,500 heterosexual married U.S. couples participating in the National Survey of Families and Households, add some context to other studies that have found that husbands get more sex when they do more housework<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=79154&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Marriage</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/marriage/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/dv619049-resize.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">dv619049.resize</media:title>
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		<media:content url="http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/ccc18529897902c0767bf2d7d088828e?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">brochman</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Lessons for a Good Marriage, from the Divorced Who Finally Got It Right</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2013/01/21/lessons-for-a-good-marriage-from-the-divorced-who-finally-got-it-right/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2013/01/21/lessons-for-a-good-marriage-from-the-divorced-who-finally-got-it-right/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jan 2013 17:00:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Francine Russo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men & Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ex-spouse]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=78380</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[With the divorce rate in the U.S. hitting 30% to 50%, it&#8217;s inevitable that in the course of dating, you&#8217;ll run into someone with an ex (or two). And somewhere into that first or second date, you’ve probably asked what went wrong. I know I have. And when my date begins his answer with the words my wife, I&#8217;m ready to duck out. For these people, it’s always about what the other guy did, how awful the ex was. I’ve always been a believer in the credo that every relationship involves two people. And no matter how evil my ex turned out to be, I played a role. Got to have. So there&#8217;s bound to be something I need to do differently next time. (MORE: D Is for Divorce: Sesame Street Tackles Another Touchy Subject) Change thyself: that’s the lesson emerging from an ongoing National Institutes of Health–funded study of 373 married couples in one Midwest county that began in 1986. The study was launched by Terri Orbuch, author of Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship. Orbuch, a therapist and professor of sociology at Oakland University, recently analyzed data on the 46% of her couples who eventually divorced and the 71% of those who have since remarried or formed long-term relationships. Her findings reveal which behaviors significantly predict finding a new relationship. And they also yield some lessons for making any relationship better. Orbuch found her divorced people were significantly more likely to find a new love if they could let go of the past — and that included not blaming their ex-spouse for the divorce. If you blame your ex, Orbuch says, you&#8217;re less likely to become &#8220;emotionally neutral,&#8221; an emotional state she found was more strongly linked to finding new relationships. (MORE: Planning a Vacation &#8230; with Your Ex-Spouse?) Letting go of the past is an important emotional step. But there are five specific behaviors Orbuch identified that made the divorced people in her sample twice as likely to succeed in finding a<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=78380&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Divorce</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/divorce-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/hl-wedding-rings-0120.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">image: wedding rings</media:title>
		</media:content>

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			<media:title type="html">apark7</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>The &#8220;Eligible Bachelor&#8221; List: How Quaint</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2013/01/18/the-eligible-bachelor-list-how-quaint/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2013/01/18/the-eligible-bachelor-list-how-quaint/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jan 2013 13:00:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Belinda Luscombe</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men & Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eligible bachelors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jack Nicholson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prince Harry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Town & Country]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=78156</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Town &#38; Country magazine&#8217;s February issue is out, with its annual inventory of  &#8220;Top 50 Bachelors.&#8221;  As editorial franchises go, this is so antiquated that it&#8217;s almost all the way back refreshing. Almost. Even if you overlook that George Hamilton and all four* of Bryan Ferry&#8217;s sons made the list, it&#8217;s a story that makes you want to poke your own eyes out. The roll-call is pretty much what you&#8217;d expect—some sports figures, a techie or two, some political up-and-comers and lots and lots of rich people&#8217;s sons. It&#8217;s not entirely serious; the magazine offers up four guys it acknowledges would probably be the marital equivalent of 10 miles of bad road and one Italian textile tycoon who not only has his jeans tailored, but formerly dated Naomi Campbell. (&#8220;Always a red flag,&#8221; it notes.) And some of it is patently ridiculous: one of the most eligible bachelors is Jack Nicholson, aka the white whale of committed mates. The Eligible Bachelor is the close cousin, or at least in the same posse, as that other dubious male icon, the Charming Prince. Indeed, several royal younglings made the list, which is headed by Prince Harry— the Master of bachelors, so to speak.  The whole concept is  fantasy, and not an entirely pleasant one. It belongs to a time when women&#8217;s best future lay in them making a good match, which itself seems not far removed from the era of providing a dowry to a man&#8217;s family for taking the family-budget-eating girl-child off your hands. (MORE: Prince Harry Gets His Own Bachelor Pad — Next Door to Will and Kate) You&#8217;d think that women were no longer held under the sway of such myths, that, having made huge strides in education and employment, they were seeking more of a life partner and enthusiastic bedfellow and less of a meal ticket. But in many cases, you&#8217;d be wrong. &#8220;I can&#8217;t tell you how many terrific, smart 20 year old girls in my practice are holding out for that good-looking high testosterone man,&#8221; says Rachel<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=78156&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Marriage</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/marriage/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/151197870.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">Bachelor Harry</media:title>
		</media:content>

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			<media:title type="html">blandnotblond</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Got Cold Feet? It May Signal a Short Marriage</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/09/14/got-cold-feet-it-may-signal-a-short-marriage/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/09/14/got-cold-feet-it-may-signal-a-short-marriage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 Sep 2012 16:51:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Maia Szalavitz</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cold feet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[premarital doubt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wedding jitters]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=68989</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The jittery bride and the ready-to-bolt groom are clichés for a reason: Las Vegas elopers and Britney Spears aside, most people don’t take the idea of lifelong commitment lightly. And now a new study finds that if the cold feet are wearing white heels, the marriage may not be long for this world. In fact, a bride’s pre-wedding doubts more than double the odds of divorce, according to the new study. The research, which was published in the Journal of Family Psychology, included 464 newlyweds, who were interviewed separately every six months until their fourth year of marriage. The groom’s qualms were not as dire: they did not predict marital dissolution. But either partner’s doubt was linked with lower satisfaction for that partner over time if the couple stayed together. For men, however, marital unhappiness was linked mainly with having a neurotic personality, which led them to worry about most things, not just whether to marry or stay married. (MORE: What Women Really Want in a Relationship) Premarital angst was common, but fortunately, did not always predict divorce or lasting distress: 40% of women and 50% of men reported having had doubts. Indeed, a full two-thirds of the couples included at least one partner who wasn’t totally sure the marriage was a good idea. About half the couples shared either doubt or lack of doubt. Within four years, 12% of the couples had divorced, and the chances of a split were higher among couples in which women had had cold feet: 8% of women without pre-wedding doubts had divorced, compared with 19% of women with doubts. In contrast, 9% of men who had felt confident about getting married ended up divorced, compared with 14% of those with doubts, but this difference was not statistically significant. Even when the researchers controlled for other factors associated with risk of divorce like having divorced parents, experiencing a stormy engagement, being neurotic or having a neurotic partner, the link between female doubt and divorce remained. A difficult engagement reported by the wife, however, was<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=68989&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Marriage</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/marriage/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/119939684a.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">119939684a</media:title>
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		<media:content url="http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/0a5ac57e99124922fa628492ad3db6b2?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">MaiaSzalavitz</media:title>
		</media:content>
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		<item>
		<title>When She Makes More Money: Adjusting to an Unexpected Financial Change</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/09/12/when-she-makes-more-money-adjusting-to-an-unexpected-financial-change/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/09/12/when-she-makes-more-money-adjusting-to-an-unexpected-financial-change/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 12 Sep 2012 12:00:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Suzanna de Baca</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men & Women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=68706</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ask the experts and opinions will vary on the psychological and emotional effect on spouses, when one has a significantly larger salary — or the only salary in the family — especially when that partner is the woman and when couples encounter these unequal circumstances unexpectedly. I vividly remember a tearful conversation I had with a young woman during the height of the recent recession. A working woman and mother of two, she came to me seeking a listening ear. Her husband had been laid off several months earlier and she was struggling with a very new type of pressure: that of the sole breadwinner. She had always planned to have a career and contribute financially to her family, but she didn’t ever think she’d be responsible for everything. This scenario has become increasingly common for women, particularly since men lost twice as many jobs as women did during the recession. Other economic shifts, including women’s advancement in the workforce, are also changing the traditional breadwinning roles in many marriages. The average annual income of working women has increased 74% over the last 30 years, and females now make up 52% of all employees in managerial roles. (MORE: Postponing Retirement: Will You Have to Work Forever?) What does that mean? Working women are more likely than ever to bring home the biggest (or the only) paycheck in the family. That profound cultural shift has fueled endless national discussions about men, women, money and power — a debate that was reignited further just yesterday, with the release of journalist Hanna Rosin&#8217;s much anticipated book The End of Men: And the Rise of Women, which examines women&#8217;s rise to the top. As Rosin notes, however, for many working women, including the young mother I spoke with, there are any number of mixed emotions and anxieties that come along with that ascendance. There&#8217;s a subtle but important distinction between contributing to the family bank account and accepting full accountability for putting dinner on the table: the woman I counseled was not only concerned<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=68706&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Men &amp; Women</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/men-women/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/woman-breadwinner.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">woman breadwinner</media:title>
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		<media:content url="http://2.gravatar.com/avatar/88840acf343699fe6f4619803daf4b90?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">suzannadebaca</media:title>
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		<title>Couples Therapy Can Help PTSD and Improve Relationships</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/08/15/couples-therapy-can-help-ptsd-and-improve-relationships/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/08/15/couples-therapy-can-help-ptsd-and-improve-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Aug 2012 13:05:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Maia Szalavitz</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ptsd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trauma]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=66266</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The distress of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) hurts not only the victims of trauma, but their loved ones as well, particularly their spouses or partners. Now a study suggests that a new type of couples therapy may help. PTSD has been particularly devastating for veterans of the Afghan and Iraq wars — suicide, which is commonly linked with the disorder, is now killing more U.S. soldiers than combat itself. But even for those who don&#8217;t take their own lives, the combination of PTSD and traumatic brain injury (TBI), caused by repeated concussions during battle — both signature wounds of today’s wars — is profoundly disabling, as columnist Nick Kristof described in a harrowing article in the New York Times last Sunday. Because these brain wounds are not visible, unlike a lost limb, they often go unacknowledged by the sufferer, undiagnosed and untreated. (MORE: Why Can&#8217;t the Army Win the War on Suicide?) &#8220;[I]f you want to understand how America is failing its soldiers and veterans, honoring them with lip service and ceremonies but breaking faith with them on all that matters most,&#8221; Kristof wrote, you should consider the story of Maj. Ben Richards, a rising star in the U.S. Army, who was eventually diagnosed with both TBI and PTSD and nearly lost his marriage to his wife, Farrah: A once boisterous dad who loved to roughhouse with his children — now there are four, ages 1 to 14 — Ben no longer seemed to know how to play with them. He often suffered incapacitating headaches, overwhelming fatigue and constant insomnia. Especially when dozing, he was on a hair trigger. If Farrah rose at night, she sometimes didn’t return to bed for fear that her husband might think she was an enemy and attack her. Instead, she’d spend the rest of the night on the couch. For a woman who had been functioning as a single mom and was now eager to resume her former married life, all this was devastating. And it got worse. Farrah would tell her husband things, and<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=66266&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Trauma</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/mental-health/trauma-mental-health/</primary_category_link>
		<media:content url="http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/0a5ac57e99124922fa628492ad3db6b2?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">MaiaSzalavitz</media:title>
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		<title>The TomKat Split: Divorce in America by the Numbers</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/07/06/the-tomkat-split-divorce-in-america-by-the-numbers/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/07/06/the-tomkat-split-divorce-in-america-by-the-numbers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Jul 2012 18:45:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Belinda Luscombe</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men & Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cruise]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holmes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[statistics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Suri]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[third marriages]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=63412</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You may have noticed that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced. Their marital liquidation was preceded by news of another: Dominique Strauss Kahn, former head of the IMF and former defendant in a sexual assault case, was reportedly being left by his hitherto supernaturally loyal wife, Anne Sinclair. The two men have something in common; or rather, the two departing women have something in common: they’re both third wives. While Holmes&#8217; divorce filing apparently blindsided Mr Cruise, who was away on location filming a movie, neither split was all that unexpected. It&#8217;s not just because celebrity magazines have been predicting a TomKat rupture since the day their wedding vows were uttered, or that, you know, Mr. Strauss Kahn was a cheat. It&#8217;s because third marriages break up more often than first or second unions. (MORE: Planning a Vacation…With Your Ex-Spouse?) There&#8217;s a figure floating around the Internet that some 70% of third marriages fail, but the real numbers tell a slightly different story. It’s also commonly agreed that about half of all marriages fall apart, but while true, that stat also doesn&#8217;t tell the full story. Overall, divorce rates are actually falling. And among the well-educated and wealthy who marry after the age of 26, they&#8217;re falling quite dramatically. The vast majority of American marriages between two people like Cruise and Holmes make it to the 10-year mark. (Theirs lasted six.) About 30% of people in Cruise’s demographic — white American men between the ages of 40 and 49 (Cruise&#8217;s age when Holmes filed for divorce) — have ever been divorced, according to the most recent (2009) Census figures. And half of them had remarried. About 12% of those guys had then divorced again. That is, 24% of fortysomething white guys&#8217; second marriages had failed. Which brings us to third marriages, after which point the Census stops counting. It feels like a lot of people are in — or leaving — their third marriage (hello, Kelsey Grammer!), but they aren’t. Cruise&#8217;s case is quite unusual (even apart from<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=63412&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Relationships</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/relationships-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/tom-cruise-katie-holmes.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">tom cruise katie holmes</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">blandnotblond</media:title>
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		<title>The Marriage Proposal to Beat: Portland Actor Gets 60 Friends and Family to Help Pop the Question</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/29/the-marriage-proposal-to-beat-portland-actor-gets-60-friends-and-family-to-help-pop-the-question/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/29/the-marriage-proposal-to-beat-portland-actor-gets-60-friends-and-family-to-help-pop-the-question/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 May 2012 12:25:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie Rochman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bruno Mars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[engagement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Isaac Lamb]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage proposal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marry Me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[portland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wedding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wedding proposal]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=60499</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here’s one way to make fairly certain that your intended says yes to a marriage proposal: stage an elaborately choreographed dance routine involving dozens of friends and relatives, then pop the question in front of them. It worked well for Isaac Lamb, an actor from Portland, Ore., who — as of May 23 — is engaged to marry fellow actress Amy Frankel. The two met six years ago at an audition for a local production of West Side Story — she made the cut; he didn’t. (MORE: Modern Family: More Likely to Be Multigenerational, Unmarried or Interracial) Lamb, 31, had considerably better odds last Wednesday, when he enlisted his brother to coax Frankel, 33, to sit in the back of an open SUV so he could &#8220;play her a song.&#8221; While she listened through headphones, the car slowly began moving down a quiet street as a growing band of friends and family appeared, grooving joyously to the music. The song: Bruno Mars&#8217; &#8220;Marry You.&#8221; Frankel sat watching — laughing, clapping her hands over her mouth. At the end of the song, Lamb appeared, decked out in a suit, and got down on bended knee. The video of her delighted reaction — and the merry dancers who participated in what Lamb calls the &#8220;world&#8217;s first live lip-dub proposal&#8221; — has been viewed more than 1.2 million times. For his part, Lamb claims he never had any doubts she’d accept his proposal. But he told The Oregonian it never hurts to be extra-certain: “This whole production was a good insurance policy.&#8221; MORE: Tube Feeding: What’s Wrong with the Latest Wedding Crash Diet?<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=60499&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Marriage</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/marriage/</primary_category_link>
		<media:content url="http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/ccc18529897902c0767bf2d7d088828e?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">brochman</media:title>
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		<title>Happy Marriage, Healthy Heart?</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/03/07/happy-marriage-happy-heart/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/03/07/happy-marriage-happy-heart/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Mar 2012 20:00:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexandra Sifferlin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Heart Disease]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heart surgery]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=54649</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Marriage may be good for the heart in more ways than one. According to a new study, married adults who undergo heart surgery are three times more likely than single people to survive the three months immediately following their operation. Marriage boosted survival in both men and women, the study found. “That’s a dramatic difference in survival rates for single people, during the most critical post-operative recovery period,” said Ellen Idler, a sociologist at Emory University and lead author of the study, in a statement. In the study, researchers interviewed 500 patients before they underwent emergency or elective coronary bypass surgery. Then, they analyzed the patients&#8217; responses with survival data from the National Death Index. Sadly for singles, the study found that heart surgery survival rates were rather bleak compared with those of married patients. Indeed, the marriage benefit lasted beyond the initial three-month recovery period and continued for up to five years after surgery. Among patients who survived the initial three months, singletons were about 71% more likely to die during the next five years. MORE: Is Fear of Divorce Keeping People from Getting Married? Although the data couldn&#8217;t conclusively determine why married people survived longer, the researchers say their patient interviews were revealing. “The married patients had a more positive outlook going into the surgery, compared with the single patients,” Idler said in the statement. “When asked whether they would be able to manage the pain and discomfort, or their worries about the surgery, those who had spouses were more likely to say, yes.” But greater cheerfulness was not the only predictor of survival. Researchers also found that smoking rates differed greatly between singles and married people. Smoking history accounted for the lower five-year survival rate among singles, researchers said, and overall, married folks were less likely to smoke than their single peers. That suggests that spouses have something to do with our smoking habits, which in turn affects our long-term health. Partners are also known to be good for reminding us day-to-day to take our prescribed medicine and<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=54649&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Marriage</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/marriage/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/marriage.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
		<media:thumbnail url="http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/marriage.jpg?w=240" />
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			<media:title type="html">marriage</media:title>
		</media:content>

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			<media:title type="html">asifferlin</media:title>
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		<title>Why Men in Female-Centric Professions Spend More Time on &#8216;Guy&#8217; Chores</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/03/02/why-men-in-female-centric-professions-spend-more-time-on-guy-chores/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/03/02/why-men-in-female-centric-professions-spend-more-time-on-guy-chores/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 02 Mar 2012 13:30:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie Rochman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men & Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chores]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[employment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[equality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gender]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[housework]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[masculinity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[occupation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=54427</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We’ve come a long way as a society in terms of gender equality. Men are teachers, women are doctors, and no one flinches. As I like to tell my daughters, they can grow up to be anything they want to be — except fathers. But new research in the American Journal of Sociology shows that consciously or not, men who work in “gender-atypical” occupations — ones comprising mostly women — tend to spend more time at home doing quintessentially male chores. They putter around with the cars, take care of the yard, fix things around the house — you know, guy stuff. When stacked up against men who have jobs where men and women are equally represented, men in gender-atypical jobs put in an extra hour each week on typically male housework. What’s more, these men’s wives stick to female-typed tasks, spending about four hours more each week cooking dinner, vacuuming or throwing in a load of laundry. Meanwhile, women who work in male-centric professions also tend to pursue more female-typed housework but not with the same consistency as men in female-dominated arenas — perhaps because they perceive it as less of a threat to their femininity. (It should also be noted that a different study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that doing housework after a day on the job isn&#8217;t good for anyone, regardless of gender.) What’s going on here? It seems to be a manifestation of what sociologists call the “neutralization of gender deviance.” Or, in plainspeak, “men are trying to bolster their masculinity at home,” says Daniel Schneider, the study’s author and a doctoral student in sociology and social policy at Princeton University. MORE: Working Moms Multitask More Than Dads — and Like It Less “It’s counterintuitive in a sense,” says Schneider. “Maybe what we’re seeing here is that men who are gender-deviant in the market are doing compensatory action at home by doing more typically male chores.” Schneider used data on thousands of married, heterosexual couples from the National Survey of Families and the American<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=54427&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Men &amp; Women</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/men-women/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/manly-chores-at-home.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
		<media:thumbnail url="http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/manly-chores-at-home.jpg?w=240" />
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			<media:title type="html">manly chores at home</media:title>
		</media:content>

		<media:content url="http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/ccc18529897902c0767bf2d7d088828e?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">brochman</media:title>
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		<title>Is Online Gaming Messing Up Your Marriage?</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/16/is-online-gaming-messing-up-your-marriage/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/16/is-online-gaming-messing-up-your-marriage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Feb 2012 10:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexandra Sifferlin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[everquest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[final fantasy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gaming]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage satisfaction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[multiplayer online role-playing games]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[online games]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video games]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[World of Warcraft]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=53395</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Role-playing games like World of Warcraft allow players to become buff, sword-yielding warriors online — which helps explain why dedicated gamers can while away hours in front of their computer screens. But a new study shows that players&#8217; commitment to virtual reality has real-world consequences: it can negatively affect marital satisfaction. Of course, it&#8217;s hardly surprising that excessive video gaming might make your partner unhappy — but it&#8217;s not for the reason you&#8217;d think. Brigham Young University researchers found that it wasn&#8217;t necessarily the long hours spent online that spouses had a problem with. Rather, they got upset when gaming caused offline arguments and particularly when a spouse&#8217;s excessive gaming interfered with the couple&#8217;s bedtime routine: couples who did not go to bed at the same time reported less marital satisfaction. &#8220;It&#8217;s not the hours that make a difference,&#8221; said Neil Lundberg, one of the researchers and a recreation-management professor at Brigham Young, in a statement. &#8221;It&#8217;s really what it does to the relationship — whether or not it creates conflict and quarreling over the game.&#8221; (MORE: Brain Changes in Video Gamers: Addiction or Just People Having Fun?) For the study, published in the Journal of Leisure Research, researchers surveyed 349 married gamers: in 132 couples, only one person gamed — 84% of the time it was the husband. In the other 217 couples, both partners gamed, but in cases where one person played more than the other, it was again the husband 73% of the time. On average, the study respondents were 33 years old and had been married seven years. (Previous research has found that more than a third of players of multiplayer online role-playing games are married; 22% have kids — how they have the time to game is beyond us.) Overall, researchers found that 75% of gamers’ spouses wished they would put more effort into their marriage, and when one person spent a lot more time gaming than the other, it usually led to dissatisfaction and arguing. Like any other activity that gets in the way of couples&#8217; intimacy and family<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=53395&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Marriage</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/marriage/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/computer.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">computer</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">asifferlin</media:title>
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		<title>Does Online Dating Make It Harder to Find &#8216;the One&#8217;?</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/07/does-online-dating-make-it-harder-to-find-the-one/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/07/does-online-dating-make-it-harder-to-find-the-one/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:00:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alice Park</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chemistry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eHarmony]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Match.com]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[online dating]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=53001</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Everyone knows someone who met their spouse online. A friend of mine whom I hadn&#8217;t seen in years told me recently that she, too, met her husband on an Internet dating site. They&#8217;re happily married, just moved into a new house, and are now talking about starting a family. When I asked her if she thought online matchmaking was a better way than offline dating to find guys who were more compatible with her — and, therefore, better husband material — she laughed. “No, because I couldn’t stand him when I first met him,” she says of her husband. She thought he was full of himself and rude during their first encounter. It definitely wasn’t love at first sight, she said — that took a while. In other words, according to my friend, Internet dating is just as unpredictable as the non-digital version. You never know how things are going to evolve until they do. But the benefit, she says, is that dating online gives you access to a lot more people than you&#8217;d ordinarily ever get to meet — and that&#8217;s how she connected with her future husband. These observations have been borne out in a new study by social psychologists collaborating across the country. The extensive new study published in the journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest sought to answer some critical questions about online dating, an increasingly popular trend that may now account for 1 out of every 5 new relationships formed: fundamentally, how does online dating differ from traditional, face-to-face encounters? And, importantly, does it lead to more successful romantic relationships? (MORE: How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Tweet the Ways) For their 64-page report, the authors reviewed more than 400 studies and surveys on the subject, delving into questions such as whether scientific algorithms — including those used by sites like eHarmony, PerfectMatch and Chemistry to match people according to similarities — can really lead to better and more lasting relationships (no); whether the benefits of endless mate choices online have limits (yes);<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=53001&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Romance</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/romance-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/date.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">date</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">apark7</media:title>
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		<title>Why We Nag. And Why We Shouldn&#8217;t</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/01/26/why-we-nag-and-why-we-shouldnt/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/01/26/why-we-nag-and-why-we-shouldnt/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Jan 2012 15:30:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie Rochman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men & Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nagging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wall Street Journal]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=52294</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Nagging, that age-old art of bugging — er, gently reminding — someone to do something over and over again, insinuates itself into most relationships. “It’s more common than adultery and potentially as toxic, so why is it so hard to stop nagging?” wonders The Wall Street Journal. Good question. Psychologists say it boils down to faith. One person fears the other won’t follow through, and that compels her to keep asking her partner to complete the task. Her partner, in turn, gets annoyed, which doesn’t make him incredibly likely to want to cooperate. And the cycle repeats. Pair up an uber-organized, chop-chop kind of person (me) with an “I’ll-get-to-it-when-I-get-to-it” partner (my husband), and it’s no surprise that different approaches to getting things done can cause a robust degree of conflict. MORE: Argue Much? Conflict Levels in Marriage Don’t Change Over Time Saith the Journal: It is possible for husbands to nag, and wives to resent them for nagging. But women are more likely to nag, experts say, largely because they are conditioned to feel more responsible for managing home and family life. And they tend to be more sensitive to early signs of problems in a relationship. When women ask for something and don&#8217;t get a response, they are quicker to realize something is wrong. The problem is that by asking repeatedly, they make things worse. Men are to blame, too, because they don&#8217;t always give a clear answer. Sure, a husband might tune his wife out because he is annoyed; nagging can make him feel like a little boy being scolded by his mother. But many times he doesn&#8217;t respond because he doesn&#8217;t know the answer yet, or he knows the answer will disappoint her. A little understanding might go a long way, says Howard Markman, professor of psychology at the University of Denver and co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies. Although some nagging is unavoidable, research Markman published in 2010 in the Journal of Family Psychology found that those couples who minimize it stand a<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=52294&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Relationships</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/relationships-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/nag.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">nag</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">brochman</media:title>
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		<title>Is Fear of Divorce Keeping People from Getting Married?</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2011/12/22/is-fear-of-divorce-keeping-people-from-getting-married/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2011/12/22/is-fear-of-divorce-keeping-people-from-getting-married/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Dec 2011 10:00:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Belinda Luscombe</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cohabitation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cornell university]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living together]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage gap]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ohio]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[study]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=49779</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Marriage, it is sometimes argued, is a feminist institution, put in place to offer legal protection to women from being abandoned by men who wish to sow their seed in ever greener pastures. It&#8217;s a slightly antique (and misandrist) view, formulated at a time when home and hearth were a woman&#8217;s horizons. Plus, as a new study suggests, it is often women, rather than men, who view marriage as a trap. In a survey of 61 cohabiting couples ages 18 to 36 in Columbus, Ohio, researchers from Cornell and the University of Central Oklahoma found that women, particularly lower-income women, were concerned about being trapped in marriage and having no way out if things went awry. The survey respondents also revealed that they had serious concerns about divorce: about 67% said they were worried about the potential social, emotional and economic fallout of splitting up. The researchers suggest that this is one of the reasons the couples had chosen to live together without getting married. While that sounds a little bit like choosing to stick with the shrimp appetizers for fear that the main dish will give you food poisoning, these young couples tended to think the legal and financial upheaval caused by a divorce wasn&#8217;t worth the risk. (MORE: 5 Secrets of Happily Married Parents) The study, which was published in the December issue of Journal of Family Relations, is one of several in recent weeks to examine the diminishing rate of marriage in the U.S. According to a Pew Research Center analysis last week, just over half of adult Americans are married, the lowest rate in decades. Some of the rollback is because people are getting married later, and some of it is because cohabitation rates are rising. The new study suggests that divorce is also a very real presence in couple&#8217;s minds. Divorce is not an equal-opportunity specter, however. Middle-class couples were less spooked by it — and by marriage — than low-income couples. For poorer women who tended to feel that marriage was a trap, many reported<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=49779&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Marriage</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/marriage/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/divorce.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">divorce</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">blandnotblond</media:title>
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		<title>Why a Little Less Marriage Might Be a Good Thing</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2011/12/14/why-a-little-less-marriage-might-not-be-a-dangerous-thing/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2011/12/14/why-a-little-less-marriage-might-not-be-a-dangerous-thing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:15:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Belinda Luscombe</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[american community survey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[census]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[D'Vera Cohn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decline of marraige]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[demographics of marraige]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage statistics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[median age at marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pew]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stats]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=48908</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In America, getting married is not nearly as popular as it used to be. (In case you have missed our several bulletins heralding this, you can catch up here.) Now, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis released on Dec. 14, marriage rates have hit a historic low. Only a smidgen over half of Americans are currently married, down from 72% in the 1960s. Between 2009 and 2010 alone, the marriage rate declined by 5%. It&#8217;s not entirely clear what&#8217;s behind the drop — the Pew researchers&#8217; data-crunching suggests that this is one area in which the economy is not playing a huge role — but the ebbing of interest in marriage does have several interesting features. And some of them suggest that a little less marriage-mania might be a good thing for the institution in the long run. Let&#8217;s be clear: a majority of unmarried people — 61% — still want to get married, even some of those who don&#8217;t have a very rosy view of the institution. Almost half — 47% — of people who think marriage is becoming obsolete nevertheless still hope to get hitched, as do a roughly equal percentage among people who don&#8217;t think the coupled life is passé. The biggest marriage naysayers, no surprise here, are the formerly married. Only 27% of them want to get on that train again. MORE: The Five Secrets of Happily Married Parents Mostly, the Pew report suggests, the declining rate of marriage has a lot to do with age. &#8220;Among adults ages 18-24, the number who recently married dropped 13% between 2009 and 2010,&#8221; write D&#8217;Vera Cohn and Wendy Wang in the report, which included data from the Census and American Community Survey. Numbers are also down for those in the 24-to-35 age range and those 45 and older. But among folks aged 36 to 45, getting married is as popular as ever, if not more so. The median age at which people marry is also rising, to 28.7 for men and 26.5 for women, the highest it&#8217;s ever<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=48908&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Marriage</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/marriage/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/200301085-0021.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">blandnotblond</media:title>
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		<title>Argue Much? Conflict Levels in Marriage Don&#8217;t Change Over Time</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2011/10/21/argue-much-conflict-levels-in-marriage-dont-change-over-time/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2011/10/21/argue-much-conflict-levels-in-marriage-dont-change-over-time/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 21 Oct 2011 14:00:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie Rochman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[argument]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Claire Kamp Dush]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Journal of Family Issues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[married couples]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=45386</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you squabble a lot with your sweetie, don&#8217;t think that things will improve after getting hitched. New research shows that conflict levels don&#8217;t vary much over the course of marriage. (The good news, conversely, is that if you get along well, you&#8217;re likely to continue along that same trajectory.) The new research by Ohio State University researchers also showed that satisfied marriages can take many forms. Just because a relationship isn&#8217;t tranquil doesn&#8217;t mean it&#8217;s unhappy. Likewise, a marriage devoid of fighting doesn&#8217;t necessarily indicate happily-ever-after. &#8220;Marital quality has multiple dimensions,&#8221; says Claire Kamp Dush, lead author of the study and an assistant professor of human development and family science at Ohio State University. &#8220;The most important takeaway is there is a lot of stability in conflict. If you&#8217;re finding it difficult to live with the level of conflict in your relationship before you get married, you probably shouldn’t get married.&#8221; Knowing how much of a toll kids can take on a couple&#8217;s marriage, experts have traditionally assumed that marital satisfaction resembles a U-shaped curve: it starts out high for newlyweds, declines once children arrive on the scene and creeps back up once the kids leave home. But research over the last decade has showed that while marital bliss indeed declines post-kids, it doesn&#8217;t appear to subsequently rebound. &#8220;It&#8217;s not like your kids leaving is a magic potion for your marriage,&#8221; says Kamp Dush. MORE: Why Materialistic People Are Less Happy in Marriage Relying on data collected from 2,000 married people from 1980 to 2000, researchers looked at the quality of a couple&#8217;s marriage and how the couple related to one another. They identified three subgroups: low-conflict, which accounted for 16% of people; moderate-conflict, or 60% of participants; and high-conflict, which comprised 22% of the respondants. The groups largely stayed consistent over 20 years. Then, researchers further classified the groups into four categories: volatile, validator, hostile and avoider. Here&#8217;s how that broke down, according to the research, which was published online recently in the Journal of Family Issues: Volatile:<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=45386&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Marriage</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/marriage/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/93907246-resize.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">93907246.resize</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">brochman</media:title>
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		<title>Ultrasound Guidelines May Wrongly Diagnose Miscarriage</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2011/10/14/ultrasound-guidelines-may-diagnose-miscarriage-when-a-women-is-still-pregnant/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2011/10/14/ultrasound-guidelines-may-diagnose-miscarriage-when-a-women-is-still-pregnant/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 Oct 2011 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie Rochman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[determining miscarriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guidelines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[miscarriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pregnancy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sonogram]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ultrasound]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=44980</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As if the worry over potential miscarriage weren&#8217;t stressful enough for newly pregnant women, research released Friday shows that current guidelines for using ultrasound to determine that a pregnancy has ended may not always be accurate. The four new studies looked at U.K. ultrasound specifications, but when the findings are extrapolated to U.S. guidelines, the researchers suggest 1 in 23 women diagnosed with miscarriage could still have a viable pregnancy. What that might mean for the future of such incorrectly doomed pregnancies is unclear. Researchers did not analyze whether women in the studies who were told that their pregnancies had ended went on to have surgical procedures to clear out their uterus. But just the possibility that a pregnant woman would unwittingly end a viable pregnancy is intolerable, says Tom Bourne, a professor of gynecology at Imperial College London and senior author of three of the related studies published in the journal Ultrasound in Obstetrics and Gynecology. &#8220;We are concerned that current guidelines can result in a misdiagnosis,&#8221; says Bourne. &#8220;The current cut-offs for miscarriage are not appropriate.&#8221; MORE: Women Grieve Miscarriage for Years, Even After Having a Healthy Baby Ultrasound is the gold standard used to determine miscarriage. It&#8217;s assumed — at least by expectant mothers — to be exceptionally accurate. Yet one of the studies, which analyzed the existence or size of the gestational sac, found that the presence or absence of a gestational sac, as well as its size, were not foolproof indicators of miscarriage. Researchers followed 1,060 women who complained of light bleeding or pain — both potential signs that a pregnancy is in trouble — between five and eight weeks of pregnancy and had an initial ultrasound scan. As is standard practice, they returned seven to 10 days later for another scan to measure the sac&#8217;s growth. Those who were still pregnant were followed up again between 11 and 14 weeks. Typically, an embryo larger than 6 mm without a heartbeart or with no detectable increase in the size of the gestational sac between scans<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=44980&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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			<media:title type="html">brochman</media:title>
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		<title>Why Materialistic People Are Less Happy in Marriage</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2011/10/13/wealth-matters-part-2-materialistic-people-are-less-happy-in-marriage/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2011/10/13/wealth-matters-part-2-materialistic-people-are-less-happy-in-marriage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Oct 2011 14:00:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Belinda Luscombe</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=44852</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hot on the heels of a study suggesting that people who have a car, investments or other personal wealth are more likely to marry drops the other shoe: a study that suggests that people who prioritize money are less likely to be satisfied in said marriages. According to the new study, conducted by researchers at Brigham Young University (BYU) and William Paterson University (WPU), self-reported materialists — those who draw a lot of happiness from money and possessions — do not make for happy spouses, compared with those who get their jollies elsewhere. Couples who say wealth is not that big a deal score about 10% to 15% better on marriage stability and other indicators of relationship quality. Researchers surveyed a nationwide sample of more than 1,700 couples, asking them, among other questions, to rate how true this statement was: Money and things have never been important to me. Those who disagreed with the statement (i.e., scored high on materialism) tended to score low on questions that tested emotional maturity and responsiveness to their partners. &#8220;Materialism was also linked to less effective communication, higher levels of negative conflict, lower relationship satisfaction and less marriage stability,&#8221; says lead author Jason Carroll, a social science researcher at BYU. LIST: See the Excessive Stuff We Bought During the Boom So what are we saying here, that people who love money and stuff are horrible partners and should be red-flagged on Match.com? Or that people who don&#8217;t know that it&#8217;s impolite to admit to loving money are too socially inept — or too candid — to make very good spouses? (Also, does this explain the trouble those ladies were always having on Sex and the City?) Carroll doesn&#8217;t think it&#8217;s about social ineptness. &#8220;While admitting publicly that one is focused on money is poor form,&#8221; he says, &#8220;our survey is private so there is less reason to disguise one&#8217;s values and motives.&#8221; Fighting over money is one of the four horsemen of the divorcealypse, of course, and very few couples escape disagreement completely. But<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=44852&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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