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	<title>Health &#38; FamilyCategory: Romance &#124; Health &#38; Family &#124; TIME.com</title>
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		<title>Health &#38; FamilyCategory: Romance &#124; Health &#38; Family &#124; TIME.com</title>
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		<title>Want a Better Relationship? There&#8217;s an App for That</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2013/02/13/want-a-better-relationship-theres-an-app-for-that/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2013/02/13/want-a-better-relationship-theres-an-app-for-that/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Feb 2013 13:00:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Francine Russo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Social Media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gottman relationship institute]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[john gottman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kahnoodle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindu]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love apps]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship apps]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=80111</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Next time you see a couple at a cafe focused intently on their phones instead of each other, don’t assume their relationship is in trouble. They might actually be working out their conflicts, using well-known approaches from couples therapy. Except, of course, with a digital update. She could be texting, “Picking this restaurant shows you really know me! XOX” Or he may be searching among ten words to explain his feelings about her being late…again. It was probably inevitable that even that most intimate and complicated of things — romance — found its way into an app. Is this a good way for lovers to spend quality time? No research yet. But several of these apps are built on the best research available on what makes successful couples. MORE: How Speed Dating Works: In the Brain Take the ideas developed by John Gottman, emeritus professor of psychology at University of Washington and co-founder of the The Gottman Relationship Institute. After 40 years of studying more than 3000 couples in his lab, Gottman developed a relationship recipe that allowed him to separate the happy couples from those who would eventually split.  One key predictor of a couples&#8217; success together involved how much their positive communications with each other outweighed their negative ones. There was no secret to Gottman&#8217;s formula, so building on his findings, he developed relationship tools to help couples who weren&#8217;t able to make it to the Institute to connect more effectively: there were weekend workshops, books and DVDs. And now, with the ubiquity of cell phones, most of those tips and skills have migrated into an app that helps couples enhance their relationship wherever, and and whenever they are together. Love Maps, from the Gottman Relationship Institute, for example, includes ten special-focus apps. Download “Open-Ended Questions,&#8221; and your phone will flash: “What do you want your life to be like, say, in three years from now?” or “Is our child like anyone in your family?” If you don&#8217;t like those, just shake your phone to get another. The<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=80111&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Relationships</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/relationships-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/157855414.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">apark7</media:title>
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	</item>
		<item>
		<title>When Men Stop Seeking Beauty and Women Care Less About Wealth</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/09/07/when-men-stop-seeking-beauty-and-women-care-less-about-wealth/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/09/07/when-men-stop-seeking-beauty-and-women-care-less-about-wealth/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 07 Sep 2012 12:00:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Maia Szalavitz</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men & Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[evolutionary psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[female mate preference]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[female preferences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[male mate preference]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[male preferences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mating]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=68119</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Men seek youth and beauty, while women focus on wealth and status — evolutionary psychologists have long claimed that these general preferences in human mating are universal and based on biology. But new research suggests that they may in fact be malleable: as men and women achieve financial equality, in terms of earning power and economic freedom, these mate-seeking preferences by gender tend to wane. The idea behind the evolutionary theory is simple: biologically, sperm are cheap — men make 1,500 sperm per second on average. In contrast, eggs are expensive; typically, women release just one egg a month and each baby girl is born with her full lifetime&#8217;s supply of egg cells. (Yes, this means that the egg from which you sprang was formed inside your maternal grandmother.) What&#8217;s more, pregnancy costs a woman nine months, while the initial male contribution to parenthood generally requires no more than a few minutes. As a result, evolutionary theorists argue, women will be far more selective than men about their sexual partners, and they will tend to seek those with the most resources to invest in their children. Men, on the other hand, can afford to be less choosy. They’ll care far less about a woman’s ability to provide and far more about her basic signs of fertility, such as her youth and the symmetry of her facial features — a characteristic associated with beauty and good health. (MORE: The ‘Sissy Boy’ Experiment: Why Gender-Related Cases Call for Scientists’ Humility) But while these mate-seeking preferences may have made sense when humans first evolved — and subsequently shaped our unconscious desires — the world has changed since our species dwelled in caves. And so, researchers at the University of York in the U.K. wanted to know whether factors that characterize modern-day society, such as women’s increased earning power and status, made a difference. In a study published in Psychological Science, researchers looked at two large samples of people who were surveyed about the qualities they most wanted in a mate: one survey was<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=68119&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Men &amp; Women</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/men-women/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/81774535a.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">81774535a</media:title>
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		<media:content url="http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/0a5ac57e99124922fa628492ad3db6b2?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">MaiaSzalavitz</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Ancient Sexual Revolution that May Have Spurred Human Monogamy</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/29/the-ancient-sexual-revolution-that-may-have-spurred-human-monogamy/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/29/the-ancient-sexual-revolution-that-may-have-spurred-human-monogamy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 May 2012 10:45:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Maia Szalavitz</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[monogamy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pair bonds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[promiscuity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[romantic love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sarah Hrdy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sergey Gavrilets]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=60514</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Monogamous, romantic love — or, more prosaically, pair-bonding — may have evolved in a sexual revolution that could have laid down the roots of the modern family, according to an intriguing new mathematical model. Researchers have long wondered why — unlike our sexually promiscuous chimpanzee-like ancestors — humans developed strong pair bonds with individual partners. It&#8217;s thought that at one time, human ancestors did engage in chimp-like habits of sex and child-rearing, in which strong alpha males mated freely with the females of their choice, and then left the child-raising duties to them. So, the question is, How did we got from there to the modern-day monogamous, two-parent family? “People have been discussing ways by which the transition from promiscuity to pair-bonding could have occurred and there are various different scenarios,” says study author Sergey Gavrilets, distinguished professor of ecology, evolutionary biology and mathematics at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville. “What I’ve done is shown mathematically that some of these scenarios are more likely than others.” Gavrilets study suggests that a sexual revolution occurred, led by low-ranked males and faithful females. Low-ranked males, who had no hope of physically overcoming the dominant members of their groups, instead began providing extra food to certain females, to curry sexual favor. These females responded by remaining faithful to their breadwinning males. That change in behavior favored the reproductive success of these monogamous couples — pair-bonding offered a greater likelihood that their children, who took a lot of effort to raise, would survive — ultimately moving humanity away from a promiscuous mating system dominated by alpha and beta males. (MORE: What the U.S. Can Learn from the Dutch About Teen Sex) Gavrilets reasons that males in promiscuous hierarchical species face a dilemma because the alpha and beta males tend to get all the mating action. Lower-ranking guys have two choices: either compete their way to the top and win reproductive opportunities, or look for ways to beat the system. “They can put effort into achieving high-dominance status. If they do, they will have<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=60514&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Sex</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/sex-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/monogamy.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">monogamy</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">MaiaSzalavitz</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>Online Dating Gets a Little Less Virtual</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/18/online-dating-gets-a-little-less-virtual/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/18/online-dating-gets-a-little-less-virtual/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 May 2012 14:30:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Belinda Luscombe</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Love & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Live event]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Match.com]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nline dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[singles' parties]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stir]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=59561</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Online dating, it&#8217;s now universally agreed, has its limits. Among the two biggest glitches: dates who look nothing like their profile pictures and dates who are happy to email but decline to ever actually go on a bodily, non-virtual date. In an effort to combat such digital diversionary tactics, one of the biggest online dating services, Match.com, has decided to get people out from behind their computers to come out and play. Ironic, no? Regular dating has its glitches too, including extreme initial awkwardness when two people first meet and the even extremer awkwardness of the next few hours when a date proves to be a nonstarter. Match.com believes that with its database of single-but-searching folks, its algorithm for finding compatibility and a little bit of alcohol, it can put together a heck of a singles mixer. (MORE: Survey Says, He’s Just Not That Into Being Single) The company has been quietly inviting members to gatherings for the past few years — so far, it has hosted about 60 singles events. After all, it knows where the singles are, and it knows what they say they like. So encouraged has Match been by the results, it&#8217;s just launched an event service known as Stir, which will host 2,000 to 3,000 singles parties a year, hitting 24 cities in June and 70 in September. Since everyone at the events  is looking for a date, the awkwardness is a shared burden and will be easier to shrug off, reasons the company. Also, the dating service is digging deep into its database of 3 million singles, so it can slice and dice the guest list. If it wanted to host a singles event on the south side of Topeka in which everybody was a single parent between the ages of 30 and 40 with an interest in Shar-Pei breeding, it could do that — all while making sure that the ratio of male to female dog lovers is perfectly balanced. Many companies have already tried to spin their online presence into a singles meetup<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=59561&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/18/online-dating-gets-a-little-less-virtual/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Romance</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/romance-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/109010315.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">109010315</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">blandnotblond</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>How a Fertile Woman Affects the Way Men Talk</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/03/16/how-a-fertile-woman-affects-the-way-men-talk/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/03/16/how-a-fertile-woman-affects-the-way-men-talk/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Mar 2012 10:45:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie Rochman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men & Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sexuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fertility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[linguistic matching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ovulation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sentence structure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=55323</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Women can be a powerful force, capable of making smitten men do all sorts of things, including adjust the way they talk to more closely match a woman’s speech patterns. Conversation partners aligning the way they speak is often thought to indicate affiliation between two people. Have a chat with someone who curses liberally, for example, and the likelihood is good that you’ll drop a swear word too. While matching linguistic styles is a documented phenomenon, what’s particularly interesting is that new research shows that higher levels of female fertility are linked to lower levels of linguistic matching from male conversation partners. According to a study published last month in the journal PLoS ONE, researchers interpret this to mean that men are trying to distinguish themselves in the mating process by being unconventional. What’s more, they don’t seem to even realize they ‘re doing it. MORE: Is He Gay? Ovulating Women Can Tell Jacqueline Coyle, an adjunct professor of human factors and systems at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University, followed 123 male undergraduate students who interacted with five female undergraduate students at various points throughout the women’s menstrual cycles. The women, whose menstrual cycles were tracked, weren’t relying on hormonal contraception. In the study, a man and woman alternated describing a picture to one another. The woman used a script in order to help researchers more clearly see how men’s sentence structure correlated with women’s. Where a woman was in her monthly menstrual was also noted. The closer to ovulation a woman was in her cycle, the less likely a man was to mimic her sentence structure. “This finding demonstrates that men may use creative or non-conforming language as a means of attracting a potential romantic partner,” says Coyle. In another study, Coyle flip-flopped the approach and repeated the experiment using 47 female undergraduate students. Women behaved more conventionally: their fertility level did not appear to affect the degree to which they matched their conversation partner&#8217;s sentence structure. In other words, the effect seems specific to men. MORE: The Crying Game: Women’s Tears Dial Down<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=55323&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Men &amp; Women</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/men-women/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/360_hl_whisper_1031.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">brochman</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>To Avoid Regret, Put Romance First, Work Second</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/14/to-avoid-regret-put-romance-first-work-second/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/14/to-avoid-regret-put-romance-first-work-second/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Feb 2012 14:45:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie Rochman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[job]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[regrets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[remorse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[valentine's day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[work]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=53418</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It’s Valentine’s Day, and we have some bad news for workaholics: according to new research, you should be prioritizing your love life over your job. That’s not just because it will make your significant other happy; Neal Roese, a marketing professor at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, has found that life’s most intense regrets center around personal relationships, not careers. Roese and colleagues asked 500 U.S. adults about their biggest regrets then analyzed their remorse to figure out what parts of their lives were most directly impacted. They discovered that the most deep-seated regrets focused on personal relationships — including romantic unions, but also interactions with close family members, particularly parents, siblings and children. “Regrets are actually a window into the concerns and goals most important to us,” says Roese. “We are fundamentally social creatures and draw a lot of psychological sustenance out of being connected to others. The regrets we are measuring are a reflection of that.” MORE: Does Online Dating Make It Harder to Find ‘the One’? Study participants were asked to describe regrets that they considered both strong and weak, along with the situation that surrounded the regret. Analysis revealed that regrets involving love — think ending a relationship or cheating — rankle more than those related to less intimate choices such as dropping out of college or quitting a job. The study, published online last week in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, reported that love regrets outnumbered work regrets by more than 2 to 1 — 56% to 20% — in some of the comparisons. The more intense a regret, the more likely it was to be connected to personal relationships. That may be because personal regrets such as romantic remorse draw their intensity from their association with a person’s desire to belong. After all, who wants to be on the outside looking in? What that means in general is that being bad at keeping in touch with old friends or forgetting to buy Valentine’s chocolates for your sweetie has the<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=53418&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/14/to-avoid-regret-put-romance-first-work-second/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Romance</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/romance-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/103197672-resize.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">103197672.resize</media:title>
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		<media:content url="http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/ccc18529897902c0767bf2d7d088828e?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">brochman</media:title>
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	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Does Online Dating Make It Harder to Find &#8216;the One&#8217;?</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/07/does-online-dating-make-it-harder-to-find-the-one/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/07/does-online-dating-make-it-harder-to-find-the-one/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:00:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alice Park</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chemistry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eHarmony]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Match.com]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[online dating]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=53001</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Everyone knows someone who met their spouse online. A friend of mine whom I hadn&#8217;t seen in years told me recently that she, too, met her husband on an Internet dating site. They&#8217;re happily married, just moved into a new house, and are now talking about starting a family. When I asked her if she thought online matchmaking was a better way than offline dating to find guys who were more compatible with her — and, therefore, better husband material — she laughed. “No, because I couldn’t stand him when I first met him,” she says of her husband. She thought he was full of himself and rude during their first encounter. It definitely wasn’t love at first sight, she said — that took a while. In other words, according to my friend, Internet dating is just as unpredictable as the non-digital version. You never know how things are going to evolve until they do. But the benefit, she says, is that dating online gives you access to a lot more people than you&#8217;d ordinarily ever get to meet — and that&#8217;s how she connected with her future husband. These observations have been borne out in a new study by social psychologists collaborating across the country. The extensive new study published in the journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest sought to answer some critical questions about online dating, an increasingly popular trend that may now account for 1 out of every 5 new relationships formed: fundamentally, how does online dating differ from traditional, face-to-face encounters? And, importantly, does it lead to more successful romantic relationships? (MORE: How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Tweet the Ways) For their 64-page report, the authors reviewed more than 400 studies and surveys on the subject, delving into questions such as whether scientific algorithms — including those used by sites like eHarmony, PerfectMatch and Chemistry to match people according to similarities — can really lead to better and more lasting relationships (no); whether the benefits of endless mate choices online have limits (yes);<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=53001&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/07/does-online-dating-make-it-harder-to-find-the-one/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Romance</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/romance-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/date.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
		<media:thumbnail url="http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/date.jpg?w=240" />
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			<media:title type="html">date</media:title>
		</media:content>

		<media:content url="http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/69fc92d1c4598c5b98d03fde16cdfa74?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">apark7</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>Romance Novels, Filled With Passionate Love and Torrid Sex, Mislead Women</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2011/08/02/passionate-sex-torrid-romance/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2011/08/02/passionate-sex-torrid-romance/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Aug 2011 09:00:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie Rochman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[agony aunt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Harlequin Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rape]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[romance novels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[romantic novels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Susan Quilliam]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=39809</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When is rape considered legitimate? When it’s a literary gambit in the pages of romantic fiction, a best-selling genre that often misleads women by portraying idealized love and sometimes dangerous sex, according to a recent article in the Journal of Family Planning and Reproductive Health Care. “I would argue that a huge number of the issues we see in our clinics and therapy rooms are influenced by romantic fiction,” writes Susan Quilliam, a popular British “agony aunt,” the U.K. version of a Dear Abby columnist and a regular contributor to the journal. It’s surprising that romantic fiction still resonates so deeply in cultures where women’s rights are championed, notes Quilliam, but in some developed nations, romantic novels comprise nearly half of all fiction sold. Romantic fiction accounts for more than $1 billion annually in U.S. sales; Quilliam says Harlequin — the brand name synonymous with romance novels — reportedly sells more than four books each second. In the course of writing her opinion piece, Quilliam, a sexual-health educator, analyzed previous research on romantic novels and scrutinized a few herself. “I realized they are not helpful,” she says. “Often the woman is seen as the weaker subject who does all the giving and bows to what the man says.” Sometimes a character is almost raped and thinks it&#8217;s wonderful that a man will “ &#8216;take’ her,” Quilliam adds. (MORE: The Science of Smooching: Why Men and Women Kiss Differently) These books may be far from a throwaway beach read. Quilliam makes the case that literary descriptions of nonconsensual sex and hapless women who are sexually unsatisfied until a man “awakens” them are demeaning. From a practical perspective, romantic fiction has an unhealthy tendency to gloss over contraception. Burly men on horseback rarely use condoms in this sort of literature, and that sends an unsafe message. Romance readers who took part in a recent survey responded negatively to condom use, Quilliam says; it’s hardly a coincidence that just 1 in 10 romantic-fiction titles in the survey even mentioned condom use. But promoting<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=39809&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://healthland.time.com/2011/08/02/passionate-sex-torrid-romance/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Romance</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/romance-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/healthland_romance_0801.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
		<media:thumbnail url="http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/healthland_romance_0801.jpg?w=240" />
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			<media:title type="html">healthland_romance_0801</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">brochman</media:title>
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		<title>Allergic to Valentine&#8217;s Day Gifts? 5 Last-Minute Alternatives</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/14/allergic-to-valentines-day-gifts-5-last-minute-alternatives/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/14/allergic-to-valentines-day-gifts-5-last-minute-alternatives/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Feb 2011 15:41:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Meredith Melnick</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[allergic to valentine's]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[champagne alternatives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chocolate alternatives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gift ideas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rose alternatives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[valentine's day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[valentine's day advice]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=25441</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[From flower allergies to diabetes, there may be many impediments to a good time on Valentine&#8217;s Day. So Healthland has a few suggestions to make your V-day decadent — but not health-endangering.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=25441&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/14/allergic-to-valentines-day-gifts-5-last-minute-alternatives/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Romance</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/romance-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/giftscropped.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
		<media:thumbnail url="http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/giftscropped.jpg?w=240" />
		<media:content url="http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/giftscropped.jpg?w=240" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">Allergic to Valentine&#039;s Day?</media:title>
		</media:content>

		<media:content url="http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/de3d3dbd65e2d4e28590e6db335c2854?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">meredithmelnick</media:title>
		</media:content>
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		<title>The Science of Smooching: Why Men and Women Kiss Differently</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/11/the-science-of-smooching-why-men-and-women-kiss-differently/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/11/the-science-of-smooching-why-men-and-women-kiss-differently/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Feb 2011 18:20:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Feifei Sun</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gordon Gallup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Helen Fisher]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[science of kissing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sheril Kirshenbaum]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://timewellness.wordpress.com/?p=25385</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sure, kissing feels good. But it&#8217;s also an evolutionary advantage. Now a new book explains the science behind passionate lip-locks, and what they tell us about how men and women approach romantic relationships. The precise origins of kissing are unknown. But some scientists hypothesize that the practice evolved from feeding rituals between animal mothers and their young, wherein mothers would chew and break down food before passing it directly to their offspring by mouth. Out of that gesture grew a universal sign of love and affection. In the new book The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us, author Sheril Kirshenbaum cites the work of Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, who says kissing evolved to fulfill three essential needs: sex drive, romantic love and attachment. Romantic kissing is a part of more than 90% of human cultures, and its role, as Kirshenbaum puts it, is to help us &#8220;find partners, commit to one person and keep couples together long enough to have a child.&#8221; (More on Time.com: Why Women Are Attracted to Guys Who Play Hard to Get) How? The cascade of biological reactions during a passionate kiss plays a role. Research shows that kissing boosts levels of neurotransmitters like dopamine (which is involved in craving and desire) and serotonin (which elevates mood and can help spark obsessive thoughts about a partner). It also causes a jump in oxytocin, the so-called &#8220;love hormone,&#8221; whose release during orgasm triggers attachment between couples; high levels of it in new parenthood also foster lifelong attachment between mother and child. &#8220;What I found so fascinating is that the chemicals in our bodies are responsible for the so-called symptoms we associate with falling in love,&#8221; Kirshenbaum says. &#8220;I don&#8217;t think it takes the romance out of the equation, but it gives us a better scientific understanding of how our bodies are behaving.&#8221; Of course, sometimes a kiss doesn&#8217;t go well, which turns people off to one other upon first contact. Pointing to research by evolutionary psychologist Gordon Gallup of the University of Albany,<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=25385&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Romance</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/romance-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/kissingcropped.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
		<media:thumbnail url="http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/kissingcropped.jpg?w=240" />
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			<media:title type="html">kissingCropped</media:title>
		</media:content>

		<media:content url="http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/a4e2ecb6f23f06586114189dc6e9ec0c?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">feifeis</media:title>
		</media:content>
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		<item>
		<title>Facebook and Love: Why Women Are Attracted to Guys Who Play Hard to Get</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/10/facebook-and-love-why-women-are-attracted-to-guys-who-play-hard-to-get/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/10/facebook-and-love-why-women-are-attracted-to-guys-who-play-hard-to-get/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Feb 2011 15:45:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Cloud</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attraction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[online dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[valentine's day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=25253</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[On Valentine’s Day, it’s tempting to check your wall every 10 min. to see if that cute guy from the bar last week has poked you. But a recent Psychological Science study by researchers at the University of Virginia and Harvard says you will probably like him more if he ignores you than if he posts flirty messages. The study complicates decades of research on the “reciprocity principle,” which says that people fancy others who show fondness for them. As psychologists Erin Whitchurch, Timothy Wilson and Daniel Gilbert explain the principle, “If we want to know how much Sarah likes Bob, a good predictor is how much she thinks Bob likes her.” (More on TIME.com: 5 Little-Known Truths About American Sex Lives) But recent research on non-romantic attractions — how much consumers like a certain product, say — shows that there can be pleasure in uncertainty. If you discover that your lottery ticket is a winner, you feel happier when you don’t yet know the precise amount of your coming treasure than you do when you instantly learn its value. Or take Christmas: kids (and adults) often enjoy the anticipation of Santa&#8217;s visit more than the actual presents he brings. As the authors write, “When people are certain that a positive event has occurred, they begin to adapt to it.” That adaptation makes it all less thrilling. By contrast, “when people are uncertain about an important outcome, they can hardly think about anything else.” This expectancy can create a “self-perception effect,” a psychological phenomenon first described by the respected researcher Daryl Bem in the late ’60s. Bem noted that people often form attitudes about themselves by observing their own behaviors. In this case, the self-perception effect would roughly translate to “I must like him if I keep checking my wall to see if he pops up.” To test whether the uncertainty theory applies to romantic attraction, Whitchurch, Wilson and Gilbert devised a simple experiment. They recruited 47 women from the University of Virginia and told them they would be participating<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=25253&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Romance</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/romance-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/fbooklovecropped.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
		<media:thumbnail url="http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/fbooklovecropped.jpg?w=240" />
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			<media:title type="html">fbookloveCropped</media:title>
		</media:content>

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			<media:title type="html">thejohncloud</media:title>
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		<title>Some Scientific Evidence For Beauty Sleep</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2010/12/15/some-scientific-evidence-for-beauty-sleep/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2010/12/15/some-scientific-evidence-for-beauty-sleep/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Dec 2010 15:30:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Belinda Luscombe</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beauty sleep]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[scientific evidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sleep]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sleeping]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=19584</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Beauty sleep, it&#8217;s widely assumed, is one of those invented phenomena that parents use to ease their children&#8217;s passage to bedtime. After all, if sleeping had any real impact on beauty, bears, toads and frogs would be the handsomest creatures on the planet. But now a new study out of Sweden suggests there may be something to it after all. In the study, published Tuesday on BMJ.com, John Axelsson of the Karolinska Institute looked at the effect that sleep, or its lack, had on the way other people perceived the attractiveness of the sleeper. (More on Time.com: Want to Drop a Few Pounds? Lie in Bed) Axelsson&#8217;s interest in the subject was partly inspired by a question from his young daughter about whether it was the long nap that made Sleeping Beauty so lovely. And, partly, it was that he saw a gap in the scholarship. &#8220;The field of sleep research is full of studies showing the physiological and cognitive consequences of disturbed sleep,&#8221; he says, &#8220;while there is clear lack of how poor sleep affects our everyday social life.&#8221; It&#8217;s estimated that about 40 million people suffer from chronic sleep disorders in the U.S. and a further 20 million have frequent problems sleeping. Even for good sleepers, with holiday and New Year&#8217;s celebrations oncoming, this is among the most slumber-deprived of seasons. (More on Time.com: Why Americans Are Among the Most Sleepless People in the World) For the study, 23 participants, all between the prime partying ages of 18 to 31, were recruited. They were asked to sit for photographs in the afternoon, between 2 p.m. and 3 p.m. This time &#8220;coincides with the afternoon dip, or siesta time, a time where most people are sleepier,&#8221; says Axelsson. And unlike office workers, the study volunteers were not allowed to consume a mid-afternoon caffeinated beverage to keep them going. Each photograph was identical — lit the same way, the same distance from the camera, with no makeup and natural hairstyles. The subjects were told to have a relaxed, neutral expression.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=19584&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	<primary_category>Romance</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/romance-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/sb10062414d-001.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
		<media:thumbnail url="http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/sb10062414d-001.jpg?w=240" />
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			<media:title type="html">Young mixed race woman sleeping on couch at party</media:title>
		</media:content>

		<media:content url="http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/d2931913f0335d21416a74173a6a7f9d?s=96&#38;d=http%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fmu.gif&#38;r=G" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">blandnotblond</media:title>
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		<title>Debunking the Headlines: Falling in Love in 0.2 Sec.? We Don&#8217;t Think So</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2010/10/27/debunking-the-headlines-falling-in-love-in-0-2-sec-we-dont-think-so/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2010/10/27/debunking-the-headlines-falling-in-love-in-0-2-sec-we-dont-think-so/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Oct 2010 15:36:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Meredith Melnick</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Brain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[debunking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[study]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[syracuse university]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=13884</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[An assistant professor of psychology at Syracuse University wanted to know what love looked like in the brain. So she analyzed a collection of studies that focused on imaging the brain during romantic moments. What she found was fodder for lots of catchy headlines like &#8220;Brain Takes Less Than Second to Fall in Love.&#8221; Less than a second? Healthland is skeptical. Most of the studies reviewed in the meta-analysis used fMRI — a type of brain imaging scan — to determine blood flow in the brain, a measure of brain activity, in response to stimuli like seeing a loved one&#8217;s face, hearing his or her name, or imagining an experience you&#8217;ve had together. (More on Time.com: Forget Pain Pills, Fall in Love Instead) Prof. Stephanie Ortigue and her colleague Dr. Francesco Bianchi-Demicheli, a psychiatrist at the University Hospital in Geneva, found that when a person is feeling in love, the brain shows activity in the same pleasure and reward pathways that are involved when people are under the influence of euphoria-inducing drugs like cocaine (or, for that matter, looking at sexually arousing images). The brain also showed deactivation in areas involved in emotions such as anxiety, fear and grieving. It&#8217;s not news that the same pleasure centers light up in response to passionate love and to drugs — but it would be wrong to suggest that love triggers activity in the brain&#8217;s drug pathways. Rather, as my colleague Alice Park explained in a recent post, it&#8217;s the other way around: drugs light up the brain&#8217;s &#8220;love&#8221; centers — providing the euphoric feeling of love is one reason many people might take drugs to begin with. But the sexiest news headline to come from this study — that &#8220;love at first sight&#8221; can occur within one-fifth of second — is misleading. Instead, Ortigue found that the neurotransmitters associated with love pathways could flood the brain within one-fifth of a second based only on visual cues, well before higher-order cognition could recognize the face. (More on Time.com: 5 Little-Known Truths About American<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=13884&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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	<primary_category>Romance</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/romance-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/lovecropped.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">loveCropped</media:title>
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		<title>The Science of Dating: Wear Red</title>
		<link>http://healthland.time.com/2010/10/25/the-science-of-dating-wear-red/</link>
		<comments>http://healthland.time.com/2010/10/25/the-science-of-dating-wear-red/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Oct 2010 21:00:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Belinda Luscombe</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family & Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clothes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fashion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[red]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://healthland.time.com/?p=13475</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As any wedding singer or bartender can tell you, there&#8217;s a lot of really sappy songs that mention women who wear red. Turns out, there may be a reason: men are more attracted to them. In a study recently published in the European Journal of Psychology, researchers at the University of Rochester found that men who are shown pictures of a woman in a red dress want to ask her more amorous questions than men who are shown a picture of the same woman wearing blue or green. They also want to sit closer to her. (More on Time.com: 5 Little-Known Truths About American Sex Lives) &#8220;In prior studies, we&#8217;d shown that men view women in a red shirt or with a red background as sexier,&#8221; says Professor Andrew Elliot, the lead author of the paper. &#8220;So it looked like red was an aphrodisiac. We wanted to know if this led to more amorous behavior.&#8221; Researchers gave male university students photos of a woman, told them they were about to meet her and asked them to choose some questions to ask her from a pre-selected list. Women in red elicited more come-on type questions like, &#8220;What do you like to do on dates?&#8221; Men who thought they were going to meet the woman in blue went more boilerplate, like &#8220;What&#8217;s your major?&#8221; (More on Time.com: The Fashion of Sarah Palin) In another experiment, men were again told they would meet the woman in the photo, but this time they were taken to a room with two chairs, which they were asked to rearrange. The men who thought they were going to meet the red-clad woman moved the chairs closer together than did the men who were meeting the same lady in green. (Incidentally, the men never got to meet the woman, in red or any other color. Sometimes, especially in science, things don&#8217;t work out the way you hope.) Why were the guys so keyed up by red? It can&#8217;t be because it was the most eye-catching color, because the<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=healthland.time.com&#038;blog=8684427&#038;post=13475&#038;subd=timewellness&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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	<primary_category>Romance</primary_category><primary_category_link>http://healthland.time.com/category/love-relationships/romance-love-relationships/</primary_category_link><featured_image>http://timewellness.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/105791144.jpg?w=240</featured_image>
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			<media:title type="html">Win Wenders Opens Exhibition At MASP</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">blandnotblond</media:title>
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