Man with a Pan: Fatherhood and Cooking Q&A with John Donohue

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Q: Other than taste? As in, parental behavior? TV advertising? The scourge of “Kids’ Menus?” Pray tell.

A: Oh, I only have my own experience to go on, and what comes to mind for me is this. For all the choices that kids are offered in their little lives, they really have very little autonomy. Basically, they’re told when to go to bed, when to get up, when to go to school, and who to play with (“playdate” is a word made up by grown ups), so, my thought is that at the table, they’re presented with a rare opportunity, the chance to say “no” and to establish their identities. The dynamic is about power. At the table, the child has power to control what goes in his or her mouth, and also, power to get a great reaction out of mom or dad. All eyes end upon on the kid who fusses and refuses to eat X or Y. I can’t even get my daughter, the one who eats mussels and other weird things, to even try strawberry jam or orange marmalade. If she tasted it, she would like it. Those things are like candy, which she sensibly adores, but because they are “fruit” she refuses them. (More on DadWagon.com: The Insufferable Smugness of Parents whose Kids Eat Everything)

Q: That does make sense. In the age of rectal thermometers, I can see how asserting control over what they put in their mouths would be appealing. So tell me about the book. It’s not autobiographical: you’re editing it, not writing about your families experience per se.

A: No, Man with a Pan is not autobiographical. It is an anthology of essays and recipes by other dads who cook. More men cook now than ever before in our history, and no one has given them a voice. I wanted the book to reflect the broad experience of what it means to be a man who cooks. I started the book partially for selfish reasons. One of the things that’s hard about being the home cook, one of the things that drove legions of women mad, and made mothers resort to canned goods, is coming up with something new to cook night after night after night after night. I thought, hey, how are other guys managing, maybe I can talk to them and learn a few things from the way they cook. I happened to be friends with a lot of dads who also happened to be accomplished writers, so I knew I could get a book out of my own quest to find new recipes, new ways to manage. And the book, I hope, will do that for other men.

The book features recipes and essays by the likes of Mario Batali, Mark Bittman, Mark Kurlansky, Jim Harrison, and Stephen King, but it also includes interviews that I conducted with working dads around the country. I talked with a bond trader in L.A., a carpenter in Brooklyn, a Broadway trombonist in NJ, an economist in Manhattan, and a leading cancer researcher in Boston. I wanted to hear their own experiences and get them to share their recipes. (More on DadWagon.com: A Modest Proposal for Brooklyn Locavores — Eat More Children)

Q: The tools to cope: that’s a powerful offer. Before we finish, can you share a few tips and a favorite recipe — either from the blog or the book — for our readers?

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