Because the letters are too damn small, that’s why! I mean look at this. Look at it! Is that 1 pill every three hours or 7 pills every three hours? Of course I know it’s one pill, but your mother wouldn’t! I practically have to read to her these days. What? No, she never uses that pad-tablet thing you got her. I told you not to spend your money—too damn complicated. A sweater would have been fine! (This research, conducted at the University of Leicester, was financed by your Dad.)
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